Taking Sides
by litminor101
Summary: All is going well for Caroline and Kate until a man from Caroline's past shows up and wants to be a part of Caroline's life. Caroline and Kate must now deal with consequences of his return.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter1:** **The Stranger**

"He's phoned four times, Caroline. Four times!"

"Has he…" Caroline was reading through the mail, more or less ignoring what Kate had said.

"He's insistent- He really wants to speak to you, Caroline." Kate's voice turned firm- she wanted Caroline to realize what she had been dealing with. Not once but four times!

"Does he now. Want to speak to me." Caroline kept sorting through the mail. Apparently, the gas bill had more significance than the continuous phone calling and the man's desire to speak to her.

"What does he want? I…I told him that I was your wife." Stated strongly. And the mother of your child!" Stated even stronger.

Inside Kate was quivering; outside Kate had her chin stuck out in a defiant manner. Caroline's avoidance of specifics had put her on edge.

"Good…Good." Caroline had yet to be distracted from her task of reading the mail.

"Who… who is…should I be worried, Caroline?" All the cloak and dagger responses had brought Kate to the point of worry- no not worry. That was not the right word. It was plain out and out jealousy. Yes, jealousy! She's her Caroline! And Kate had no bloody intentions of sharing Caroline in any form or manner with any flipping body. Caroline was her wife- her soul mate, end of story. Book closed.

"Like that's every going to happen." Finally. The mail had taken its rightful place in the pecking order; that being second to Kate. Caroline peered at her, over the top of her reading glasses, with a tight smile and raised eyebrows. Her facial expression served as a grammatical complement to what had been said. Kate read Caroline's look perfectly. But didn't she always?

"Oh Caroline…" She regretted her doubt of Caroline's marital commitment. Regretted the battery of questions put to Caroline that queried her faithfulness to her.

"Come here, you." Caroline took her glasses off, opened her arms for her wife to fall into them. Opened her arms to assure her wife that she was the one and only one she'd ever want. For now and for a million and one years from now.

Whatever Kate was doing, it meant zilch, now. All and everything could wait. She put down the cooking utensil- to hell with cooking dinner. She did not walk into Caroline's arms- she rushed into her wife's awaiting arms. It was all Kate ever wanted to do for the rest of her life- be in Caroline's awaiting embrace.

Caroline tightened her arms around Kate. It was a solid hold. Pale beautiful blue eyes gazed at Kate, shouting out what was in Caroline's heart long before Caroline said it. "I love you. My utterly beautiful Kate." Then Caroline moved in to kiss her; it was a kiss without measure; a kiss without rival. Full stop. It was the very kiss that Kate needed in order to wipe away any fear; in order to wipe away any doubt.

When Caroline and Kate broke from the intense kiss, Kate took her hand and gently caressed Caroline's face. She was satisfied that Caroline was no Gillian but curiosity of who the stranger was remained. "Who is he Caroline?"

"A ghost from the past. That's all. Nothing for you to worry your pretty little head about- promise." One more kiss, a gentle one- straight to the tip of Kate's nose- to close the deal.

Everyone had skeletons in their closet, Kate thought. Caroline was allowed to have hers too, just like everyone else. Wasn't she? When Caroline was ready, not one minute sooner, (Kate knew that) Caroline would confide in her. She always did. Kate would be patient. Then again, Kate was always patient when it came to Caroline, no matter the circumstance.

"If he calls again…" Kate stopped in mid-sentence. Cocked her head to one side and gave a slight smile to assure Caroline she was in accord with her wishes but needed to ask one last question. "What should I say?"

"He won't call again…I'll see to it. First thing tomorrow." The sheer determined look on Caroline's face told Kate there would be no more calls from the stranger.

"I'm going up to change now. Flora taking her nap?"

"She's with Celia. She should be bringing her back any minute now. God, I don't know who spoils her more, Celia or you."

Kate and Celia were getting along just grand these days. Now that Flora had entered the picture. Celia loved babies- babies, they're always welcome- that's what Celia would say. It always made Kate smile to hear her say that; the thrill of hearing the words spoken about her Flora touched her very soul. "Always welcome" those words would echo over and again in her head until she had the opportunity to tell Caroline what Celia had said. When told, Caroline would just smile and say: "My mother said that, did she?" Caroline always tried to underplay how overjoyed that she was with what her mother had said but Kate always knew…what pleased Caroline…what made her happy.

"Should I ask Celia if she and Alan want to stay for…?"

"No, no, not tonight, sweetheart." Caroline winked at Kate. The wink which was meant to be flirtatious failed to convey the message- it only piqued Kate's curiosity further. It was unlike Caroline not to want to share a meal with Celia and Alan. Especially, these days when the four of them were hitting if off so well, so extraordinarily well.

Caroline turned to leave then all of a sudden, stopped. Seemingly, gathering up her thoughts before saying: "Kate, can I ask you not to mention…don't tell my mother about the phone calls… okay…thanks."

"Sure. Of course…I wouldn't say anything you wouldn't want me to."

"Good. Let's leave it at that then. Shall we?" She smiled back at Kate more with her eyes than her mouth.

"Sure- if that's what you want."

"I do." Caroline left the Kitchen, leaving Kate in utter confusion. Who the hell was this stranger?

When Caroline reached her bedroom she ambled over to her standing mirror and started staring at her self in the mirror. A conversation that took place a million years ago- or so it seemed- did a replay in her head.

I am a drunk, Caroline. No, not the fabled fall down piss in your trousers drunk. I've yet to fall face down on the cold hard pavement in some backstreet or alley. Nor do I covet the shelter of a cardboard box, thank God. I am a gentleman's drunk. I am permitted to stumble out of the best of joints, because I am appareled in a fancy suit, handmade brogues, and a soft wool overcoat placed about my shoulders. All of which though expensive, if given a closer look will show the dishevelment of a drunk's neglect. Funny how no one notices the obvious. The obvious being, among other things of course, I am in need of both a tidy up and most importantly a sober up.

I am a drunk, to be sure, Caroline. I marvel at the sight and sound of the alcoholic drink being poured over ice that crackles and dances against the glass. As I watch the glorious pour, my body humbles to the sound and sight, and my tongue yearns for the warmth of the drink that will saturate my mouth. And then the gulp- oh that gratifying gulp, which will seize hold of my body without mercy. Don't look at me like that Caroline there are worse things to be. Ask your mother- Celia. She'll tell you. I bet- in a minute or less.

Hardly a man of few words he rambled on allowing no opportunity for Caroline to jump into the conversation. Not that it really mattered. He wanted only to give vent to his pent-up frustrations; not engage in a two way conversation.

"Yes, love. I am a drunk, but not the sort of fellow without honourable delusions. Dare I admit that during the interruption of sobriety, when wisdom is accommodated, I hold firm a belief that the right motivator could dull my insane penchant. But there in lies the problem, my dear Caroline. I have no "right motivator". He used his fingers to make air quotation marks. "Not now. No. Not any more. My right motivator has become nothing more than an empty vessel. Dispossessed of past and present."

Half talking to himself, half talking to Caroline, he kept going. "Hell, maybe I never did- have the right motivator. A bloody delusion- twenty years of utter madness. Precariously, living two lives- hanging on to…whatever the hell it was. In the end it was nothing was it? Love, Caroline, it makes fools of all of us."

There was no other image but her own reflection staring back at Caroline in the free standing mirror, yet she could have sworn she saw him looking at her. Small and pitiful. Walter Higgins, the stranger who had phoned to speak to her not just once but four times. She wrapped her arms around herself, as she brought to mind the Walter Higgins as she remembered him.

He was a fine featured man. Handsome- you might say. Dapper for sure. Dark haired. Slim- small boned, appeared fit enough. Rather shortish- Caroline stood taller than him. His Cambridge education- well the whole gamut of his social standing- stood out front and centre: in his speech; his demeanor; in his dress. He never tried to hide his wealth nor did he flaunt it. In his early days he would have been quite the catch. When Caroline first met him she tried her damnedest not to like him. But as Kate once told her " _People can't help how they feel, Caroline_." He was a likeable man but she kept that to herself. For the sake of….well for everyone's sake she supposed. Until Alan came along, Celia spent her days and nights hating him; wishing him nothing but ill will. Caroline, however did nothing of the sort.

Caroline let go a very deep sigh but it did not erase the memory of all those years ago. Nor did it give direction of what next to do. She stood in front of the mirror, eyes closed, motionlessly. That was until Kate entered the bedroom and startled her back to the here and now.

"Caroline- your mother is…Celia is here. You sure you're alright Caroline?"

Caroline turned away from the reflection in the mirror and looked directly at Kate. She wanted to tell her something but couldn't find the words. She instead left the matter hanging and said: "Is she…here, my mother? Right. I'll be…down in a minute." Caroline was still staring at Kate when a smile broke across her face. "You won't forget…will you…not to mention to my mother about the phone…."

"No, no course not."

Caroline tilted her head to the side still maintaining her smile. A smile in between resolute and sad.

"Caroline…this…whatever it is…it will be alright. Won't it? I haven't spotted trouble have I?"

To be continued.


	2. The Stranger Comes Calling

A/N: The usual thank you shout outs for reading my story and special thanks for taking time to send your reviews- I most appreciate each and every one of them.

 **Chapter 2:** **The Stranger Comes Calling**

 **Part One**

Just as Caroline had promised, the calls from the stranger ceased. And the world spun right again for our Caroline and our Kate.

"Don't know what you heard. Our darling daughter is fast asleep." Caroline said as she crawled back into bed making her path directly to Kate. A cue for Kate to set aside her iPad and allow Caroline to kiss her three times- once to the forehead, once to the nose and then lastly to the lips. Each kiss lasting longer than the previous one.

"So now, if our sweet little one is fast asleep I presume mum and mum-mum can, oh, I don't know, can think of…yeah… something to… delight us?" Caroline positioned herself under Kate's right arm and rested her head comfortably on Kate's chest with her arm draped over Kate's body. She had nestled herself adeptly into a position that would allow liberal opportunity to kiss Kate's breast at will.

"I want her to be just like you Caroline." Caroline's sexual proposal, for now at least, ignored by Kate. Passed up in favour of talking.

"Like me- Oh good Lord!" She was flattered but protested, nonetheless. "Kate, sweetheart, why don't we let Flora be…well… like herself. It's hard living up to someone else's expectation of who and what you should be like. Always being consumed by the desire to please others at your own expense. If anyone should know this…that'll be me." After presenting her point, Caroline seized the opportunity to lovingly kiss Kate's breast.

"Yeah but…" Kate wanted so much for Flora to be like Caroline. To possess a characteristic that was particularly that of her Caroline- any would do, just as long as it screamed: "Every bit of you is just like our Caroline."

"Oh Kate. We'll love her just the way she is- no matter how she is to be or what she chooses to be. I'll not be like…my mother. She will never have to hide…from anything, or feel compelled to make choices, takes sides to please others."

"Hmmm." Was the verbal response that indicated Kate agreed with everything that Caroline had said, but it didn't lessen her unflagging desire to want the whole world to know that biological or not Flora was Caroline's little girl- no ifs or buts about it.

Hey, it's our anniversary in a couple of weeks…what will you want to do?" Kate's clever way to both change the subject and at the same time remind Caroline about their approaching wedding anniversary.

"Wow, already? I don't suppose…no-no you wouldn't want to go…not there again. I should cancel the reservations I made."

"Go where? Caroline? I know you're not asleep. No one goes to sleep that fast. You're rather old to play possum, Caroline. So let's hear it; what you have up your sleeve?"

"Not saying."

"Caroline."

"Okay, okay, but you must know it's going to cost you…one might say an arm and a leg? Caroline said suggestively, with her eyes still shut.

"Sounds like it's going to cost me a lot more than just an arm and a leg. Won't that be like… pandering?" Kate asked, carrying on with the playfulness of the moment.

"Yep, it would be. Up to you."

"I suppose, nothing is for free. Now is it?" Kate leaned in to surrender herself to Caroline; so as to initiate the pandering transaction but instead they both burst into fits of laughter.

 **Part Two**

"Caroline, sorry to interrupt you but…" Beverly, Caroline's PA looked perplexed and was searching for words.

"What's the matter? What's happened? Something happen to Kate?"

"No Caroline, nothing like that. There's a man outside. He wants to speak to you. He says he's…"

"Okay, let him in. It's fine. Really, it's fine Beverly."

"Hello Caroline. May I …." The man pointed to a chair, as he entered her office. He was youthful looking for his age. Very well kept; smelled of money.

"Depends, are you drunk? Are you dim witted from all your drinking?"

"No, not quite yet- love. Just an ounce of courage-is all- enough to get me here."

"I've told you already Walter I don't wish to see you. What part of that don't you understand?"

"'If the mountain will not come to Muhammad, then Muhammad must go to the mountain."

"Like I said…"

"Caroline I'm here now, so please hear me out. That's all I ask. When I've said what I've come to say if you still wish to have nothing more to do with me then I will respect your wishes."

"Do I have anything more to say to you, Walter? Don't think so."

"But I have something to say to you- Caroline. Now please have the decency to listen to me….Please?"

"Five minutes…you've got five minutes."

"You're like your dad aren't you?"

"I prefer to think of me as being like me."

"You're feeling well Caroline?"

"Get to the point Walter the clock is ticking." Caroline took off her glasses and crossed her arms at the wrist, resting them atop her desk. For anyone else but Walter her glaring would have been intimidating. But he'd experienced that look before- a thousand times and more from Kenneth, Caroline's dad. The apple hadn't fallen far from the tree.

"You've remarried- a wife and child now. That's good Caroline. Very good. Your dad would have been proud of you. I'm proud of you. We…your dad and I talked rather a lot about you, to the point I felt I knew you- as though you were my own daughter. Ad infinitum, Kenneth would go on about you. He'd tease me about the relative merits of Oxford versus Cambridge my old alma mater. He couldn't have been more proud of you. Suppose you know that."

Walter closed his eyes; it helped him to remember all those years ago when he was with Kenneth. After a brief moment he shared exactly what he was thinking. "He was a good man, our Kenneth. I loved him dearly." His memories, Celia's memories of the very same man were worlds apart.

Caroline half expected he'd smell of pipe tobacco…that's how Caroline knew…where Kenneth had been; who he had been with. He instead smelled of an expensive fragrance; the kind that wealthy men purchase from Harrods Department Store. The fragrance like Walter was likeable. Caroline felt guilty that she could not hate him. And despite all the love that she held in her heart for her mother, her feelings could never change. So, she always attempted to keep him at arm's length and he always attempted to break through her barrier. Ignoring how at times her manner could be brisk with him.

"My wife and child, I don't see how they have anything to do with you. So- I really think you should go now." Caroline emphasized her statement with her open hand pointing in the direction of the door.

Walter being in her office made Caroline feel as though she was betraying her mother. Helping the enemy. She was certain her mother would never accept any logical explanation for Walter being there. Not when throughout her entire life being perceived as taking sides with her dad, for whatever reason, amounted to nothing less than pandemonium in the household. Oh yes, she was certain if Celia got wind of this, she would be blinded by rage. Strike out in full force. "Caroline, you are no better than Kenneth." That was what she imagined her mother would say. Just before all hell broke loose, of course.

God, just when Celia was warming to the notion that Caroline had a new life. Just when Celia had begun to grow fond of Kate; had begun to accept Flora as her bona fide grandchild. And now this- Walter's return, out of the blue and into Caroline's life, again. Could there have been any worse timing? For god's sake why now? Why now when she and Kate were cocooned in the comfort that the mundanity of everyday life brings?

"Caroline, after your dad…shall we say –"took ill" -my only love became- gin, vodka, whiskey, wine- you name it so long as it was alcohol. One sort or another was neatly wrapped in my right hand and it was the single most constant in my life. My lone regret was that no matter how much I drank I failed to expunge from my memory the pitiful sight of my Kenneth; he had become nothing more than an empty vessel; dispossessed of past and present. And I became nothing more than a drunkard dispossessed of my self-esteem.

"Excuse me, but… what has this to do with me. And why…why are you here now…after all these years?"

"Because Caroline I am not long for this world- I won't bore you with details."

"I am sorry to hear Walter but…"

"In my twilight years, Caroline. And these days especially, I've become a sentimental old fool who finds himself longing for the love of his life and all which is a part of him. First thing in the morning, last thing at night, doesn't at all matter- the time of the day. My thoughts are overwhelmed by the desire for him."

"I was his partner for… one might say a lifetime. You're Kenneth's daughter, Caroline, all that I have left of him. If times would have been as they are today- you would have been my legal daughter. Just as Flora is your daughter- not biological but loved more than life itself. " Walter loved Caroline for all the same reasons that Caroline loved Flora- Caroline was the child of the man he will love forever and a day.

"So, you know my daughter's name? What else do you know about my family?"

"It's rather easy, to gather information when you have money to burn. Oh, by the way…belated Happy Anniversary. I've always loved that Hotel – good choice for a romantic weekend." For his best wishes he received in return Caroline's best unpleasant look- that very special one she usually reserved for John. Walter was unmoved- water off a duck's back. Being the prickly sort seemed a Dawson trait- And Caroline definitely was her father's child.

'What is it that you want from me Walter?"

"I want you to understand Caroline, I mean you no harm. I just want...You were kind to me when your father was ill. You seemed to genuinely understand…how it felt to be me. An insignificant hanging about in the shadows, in the bushes. We were- dare I say- friends? I want to take up again… where we left off- get to know you better. You and Kate and your little girl. That's why I'm here. That's what I've come to ask of you."

"Look Walter, it's all different now. I've got…other people to consider. I'm sorry you miss my dad but…but I can't help you…I …I really can't." The other people she had to consider were Kate and Flora. Before, if her mother would have found out about her association with Walter Celia's wrath would have targeted her and her alone. But now it was her Kate and her Flora that she worried about; wanted to protect from any consequences of Walter's presence in her life.

"If Kenneth would have known about you and Kate and Flora, he would have wanted us to get to know each other as a family. I'm sure of it. He would've wanted me to… and it's what I also want … to pass on to you…all what I have. It's only right. You're my Kenneth's child. I want you to have what he and I …might have shared if things would have been different. It's a great deal of wealth, Caroline. I'm hardly a beggar."

"Look, I don't care what you think my dad would have bloody well wanted. I don't want your sodding money or anything else from you. You think you can come in here and buy your way into my life. And what you said. How could you possibly think…family? Jesus, you and my dad so conveniently forgot about my mother…did you two ever think what your affair must have done to her? What your affair made her feel like. And now you think you can just waltz right in here and be family? You really are dim witted from all your drinking." The fragile welcome that Caroline extended to Walter was over and replaced by…angry words.

"Your dad and I…we loved each other, Caroline. You know that better than anyone else. All we ever wanted was to be together. We had very little choices back then. You of all people must know what's that's like. Being someone you're not. Loving someone from the shadows. Afraid others will find out about your dirty little secret. Afraid of the consequences of forbidden love. Which were far greater than what they are, now. We…Kenneth and I never ever wanted to hurt Celia or especially you. Kenneth loved both of you."

"You could've fooled me! 'Cause he sure had one hell of a way of showing it. Oh I knew it was a bloody mistake. I knew that I would come to regret becoming involved with you- Jesus I was daft. I was kind to you Walter because of my dad. Now he's gone…so… So, you shouldn't have come here today. You've had your five minutes now go. And don't ever contact me or my family again. You're nothing to me; I'm nothing to you. And as sure as hell I'm not your daughter. I'm also damn sure I don't want you back in my life. Close the door on your way out."

Walter rose from his seat. "It's no fun Caroline, being trapped in an unfulfilling marriage, with no viable options. I had hoped you would have taken that into consideration when thinking about your dad and me. But obviously I've held on to false hope. Good bye Caroline. I am a drunk but I am a man of my word. I won't be bothering you again.

When the door closed Caroline sat in silence, mulling over all what just had happened. Walter was long gone but his presence lingered in the room; hovering over her; refusing to dissipate. It was rather obvious, even to Caroline- that her heart was in conflict with her actions. Damn, why was taking sides so bloody difficult?

To be continued.


	3. My Dad

A/N: The usual thank you for reading my story and special thanks to those folks taking time to send reviews- I most appreciate each and every one of them.

 **Chapter 3:** **My Dad**

"Celia helped me with Flora again today." Kate could not rein in the pleasure it gave to tell Caroline that and said it as soon as they had retreated to the lounge. She could not have been in higher spirits; apparent by the undeniable joy that captured her face.

"Did she?" Reserved but pleased, as a million and one thoughts spun in Caroline's head.

"Yeah, she really likes helping out with Flora. We're really getting along well now, Caroline."

"Are you?" Still not ready to let go of the day's events which were repeating in her head at a steady pace.

"You don't sound pleased?" Kate wondered why Caroline wasn't as happy as she was with Celia's change of attitude.

"Oh I am…I'm very pleased. Come here." Caroline took Kate's hands in hers; looked directly into Kate's soft brown eyes with those captivating blue eyes of hers. "I knew it would be- only a matter of time- before you had her wrapped around your little finger."

"Caroline." Kate accepted the praise as modestly and unassumingly as only Caroline's Kate would do. A wee smile escaped from her lips as she lowered her head- a tad embarrassed. Caroline gently lifted Kate's chin so their eyes could meet again.

"No, no it's true- who could resist you? I can't. And now… my mother." Kate took one of Caroline's arms and placed it around herself. She cuddled in as close as she could to Caroline and leaned her head into Caroline's body. The contentment…the love that Caroline and Kate felt brought with it an aura of serenity and a warm ambience quickly filled the room. Oh, how they made the perfect pair, our Caroline and our Kate!

Their few moments of quietude ended when Caroline spoke. "I've been meaning to tell you…something."

Kate heard an odd seriousness in Caroline's voice that made her sit up to attention. "What's up?"

"Right." Caroline was hesitant; didn't quite know where to begin. "The man, Kate, who was calling, he…he's called Walter Higgins…he came to see me today."

"Caroline! Oh, he didn't…why? What did he want? Who is he?" Kate wanted to know a thousand and one things all at once.

Caroline blew out a very long and loud breath of air- a show of bafflement. "Where shall I begin?"

"He's not set on harming you, Caroline, is he?" There was deep concern in Kate's voice.

Caroline sighed; then followed it with a queer half smile and an "hmm" that imitated a laugh. "No. No. Quite the opposite, actually. I…I have something…I should ….." Caroline breathed out yet another sigh. "Right. I should…share this with you." Caroline paused- for what seemed like ages- Kate was growing impatient waiting for her to say something – waiting for her to say anything to cut into the long silence that had permeated the air.

"What?" The suspense was killing Kate. Made her think nothing but bad news awaited her.

Good Lord, just say it, Caroline thought to herself. Just say it. But she was finding it was much harder to say aloud- even to Kate- much harder than she had ever imagined. It dawned on her that she had never said it to anyone before. "Okay. Look, you probably wouldn't…well you're probably going to be shocked but…but…my father…my dad…he was…he…liked…"

"He was gay." Kate helped out, easing the way for Caroline; relieved Caroline's anticlimactic reveal wasn't the tsunami of troubles she'd imagined.

"How'd…how'd you know?" Caroline was blown away that Kate knew her well kept family secret. Couldn't image how.

"It really wasn't that difficult to figure out, Caroline. From all what you said. From everything Celia did. Her attitude towards you…towards us. Her deeply entrenched bigotry didn't just happen without rhyme or reason. And then the man. He was your father's lover, wasn't he?"

"He told you?"

"No, not at all. Just now, I put two and two together. When did you know about your dad?"

"Oh, I don't remember exactly…think when I was about twelve or thirteen. I heard my mother and him arguing. She said "Well, I see now you prefer the smell of pipe tobacco to that of perfume. Who is it this time? She went on to ask."

"Jesus, Caroline- were you shocked?"

"Yep…not my dad, I thought. Never in a million years would my dad be- humph, but he was, wasn't he, my dad." It could be heard in Caroline's voice- even after all these years of knowing- she still hadn't quite wrapped her head around the fact her dad was gay.

"Does your mother know you know about your dad? If I know Celia it wouldn't be something she'd want broadcasted on the "Beeb", even if she didn't get on with your dad."

"I don't know for sure. She uses code words like "ineffectual" as a man and "shenanigans" when she speaks about him."

"What does this Higgins fellow want?"

"To make us very rich. He's dying. Wants to leave his fortune to us. Wants to spend time with me, with us. Get to know us. He says he thinks of me as… his daughter? You, Flora and me as his family?

"Really?"

"My mother, she would be up in arms if she ever found out that I was in contact with him…the man that caused her so much heartache. Humiliated her. She'd accuse me of taking sides. She'd never forgive me. Never speak to me, again, Kate. I knew it was a mistake back then to befriend him but…but he…seemed so…so lost. I guess is the right word. Is that a good word?"

"You knew him before…?" Caroline's beloved modern language teacher ignored the question put to her and asked one of her own.

"Yeah. It was a chance meeting. At the home where my dad was when he had dementia. I saw him there. I thought he was a friend of my dad's….well he was in way. Wasn't he? I spoke with him. He broke down told me about their long and endearing relationship. How he'd given up everything just to be with my dad…he was a lot younger than my dad….he was handsome…still is. He also told me that my dad had told my mum about their relationship. Apparently, my father was…the love of his life. He never got over my dad- even to this day."

"Oh, Caroline." Kate spoke softly- always the romantic one, our lady Kate.

"Seems my father was a faithful partner, just not to my mother."

"To him?"

"Yep. For years they were together- in a caring and devoted relationship. Up until my dad got dementia. Unlike what my mother would have you believe my dad was anything but promiscuous- well maybe before he met Walter he was. But after he met Walter there were no tarts nor were there all and sundry that was just a ruse my mother or my dad played out to make people think…well I suppose to protect her, protect me from wicked gossip or worse. People were unkind back then. Hell… the law- even the medical profession was unkind in those days." Caroline made a face as she pondered briefly what she had just said before continuing on.

"Anyway, for reasons beyond even my own understanding- thinking back maybe it was curiosity- I don't really know? Anyhow, like I was saying, I saw him a few more times afterwards. I tried my best to hate him but the more I tried the more I grew to like him. In the end he couldn't handle my father's dementia- the pain of dad not remembering him… not remembering them, became too much for him. He felt my dad was nothing more than an empty vessel. Dispossessed of past and present. That's how he put it to me. He said the same thing again, today too."

"Poor man. What happened to him?" It was genuine concern that Kate was showing. She saw a lot of herself in this Walter Higgins fellow.

"He became a drunk." Caroline stated, half in sympathy; half in disapproval.

"Oh god, no Caroline." What had happened to Walter saddened Kate.

"I'm afraid so. I last talked to him when my father died. To tell him how…how everything went. I thought he'd like to know… since…you know…he cared so much about my dad and all. Anyway, he disappeared right after that. Which is just as well. I was always worried my mother would find out about our clandestine rendezvousing. Scared that I'd accidentally slip and say his name. And God only knows what would have happened then. But she didn't, find out. Thank god!"

"So what are you going to do now?"

"Well, I sure as hell wasn't going to encourage him. In no uncertain terms I told him to leave and don't ever contact me or my family again. I said he was nothing to me and I was nothing to him. I'm certain as hell not his daughter. Now am I?"

"You didn't." Kate was taken by surprise by what Caroline had said…by what Caroline had done. She wanted her Caroline to save the day for this poor old Walter fellow, in some way or another. That was what her Caroline did- fix things.

"Yeah, I did, Kate. Haven't you been listening? My mother, she would be furious. It would bring back all sorts of bad… ugly memories if she got wind of him being around. Not to mention my going behind her back to see this man. Not to mention how she would relegate our relationship to nothingness, again. Forget that our Flora is her grandchild. Is that what you want Kate. The old bitter Celia back again. I sure as hell don't want that. Good Lord, Walter Higgins is the last person we need in our lives, now."

"But Caroline he loved your father – he was his partner. Is it so terrible that he thinks of you as his daughter?" Kate forever the understanding one. Always at the ready to find the best in the worse.

"Their relationship was adulterous, Kate. My father was married to my mother. He took a vow; he had responsibilities- commitments. A moral obligation. As far as I'm concerned they were adulterers, the pair of them. Not bloody Romeo and Juliet. Don't expect me to sanction their behaviour, Kate. My mother deserved better. Maybe even I deserved better. It was no party growing up with the two of them."

Kate was not of the same mind as Caroline. She saw it less as adulterous and more as a tragic love story whereby circumstances prevented two people from ever being together as they should have been. She wondered how Caroline and her relationship may have fared back then. She knew that she would have been just like Walter- dived in head first with no regrets. Just as now, she would have done anything for Caroline. But she was unsure if Caroline would have been brave enough to challenge the normalcy of that era?

"It was a different time back then, Caroline. Hardly gay friendly. Surely it can't be that black and white. We of all people should understand that. Aren't we supposed to be liberal minded? The only difference between them and us is the separation of time. The roll of the dice. Could you not see him, discretely? Without your mother knowing?"

"Discretely? As we pack our bags and move lock stock and barrel to the Downton Abbey mansion. Right."

"Caroline, what your father and Walter had was hardly a fling. It was much more than that. It seems to me like it was true love- unaffected by the passage of time."

"Jesus, Kate, why must you always see things through rose coloured glasses? Trust me, I know my mother. After the hurt subsides she'll lash out at me…at us…."

"But…"

"No! Look Kate, my mother has come quite a long ways from where she was and I'll not have anyone, anyone put her back in that dark place, ever again. That's it. You know it all now so… I'm going to bed- you coming?" It wasn't an invitation; it was more a dress down than anything else. Caroline's usual soft tone of voice filled with love and tenderness when speaking to Kate was unambiguously absent.

Every inch of Kate's face showed just how upset she was with Caroline for talking to her so harshly, so dismissively. Bloody hell, her only intent was to offer a broader perspective of the situation, not disregard Celia's wellbeing and certainly not start a quarrel. If as accused, she sees things through rose coloured glasses then it could be said that Caroline couldn't see the wood for the trees, with or without glasses.

Kate did not rise from the sofa to accept Caroline's invitation. Instead, Kate sat there, stubbornly in childlike defiance. There would be no taking Caroline's hand and being lead meekly to the boudoir. And Caroline was wise enough to realize that Kate, in the mood she was in, wasn't about to change her mind any time soon.

"Right." Caroline said, in apparent indifference, as she marched off without Kate's hand in hers.

It wasn't quite how they expected to end the evening but it was as it was. Both women annoyed with each other and neither woman knowing for certain how they managed to get to where they were. But they were where they were. And as for the remainder of the night; plainly there would be no spirit of compromise in the works, not this night.

To be continued


	4. Kate's Confession

A/N: The usual thank you for reading my story and special thanks to those folks taking time to send their comments. They are much appreciated.

 **Chapter 4: Kate's Confession**

 **Part One**

A month had passed since Caroline and Kate had their blow up regarding Walter Higgins. Those two- our Caroline and our Kate could never stay angry with each other for very long. Their love saw to that. The very next day after the heated exchange, they said their "sorrys" kissed each other, made up and all was forgiven and forgotten. The bliss of matrimonial harmony returned as quickly as it flitted away.

And as of right now, the consummation of their love was hours behind them as they lay wrapped in each others arms- peaceful, satisfied. Face to face; breast to breast; legs fused intimately together. Caroline had drifted into a light sleep but Kate was awake- staring at her Caroline when the sudden urge to kiss Caroline overtook her and Kate stole a kiss- faintly, delicately pressing her lips against soft alluring lips.

"Is that the best you got?" A sleepy-headed Caroline asked.

"No, I've more but I'm saving it for your birthday."

"Much too far away." Caroline rolled atop Kate. Blue eyes searched brown eyes for an answer to why their love was so deep, so fulfilling. She wondered if this was how her father and Walter felt. Or was it even possible for anyone ever to feel the way she felt about Kate. Caroline's speculations lasted but a brief moment before Kate pulled her into a sensuous kiss. The consummation of their love began again- slowly, tenderly, endearingly.

An hour passed before they renewed their conversation. A conversation that had Kate confessing to Caroline what she had done. The delight of the evening took an abrupt u-turn for the worse.

"Caroline."

"Hmmm" Caroline was in no hurry to break from her peaceful state.

"I've something to tell you."

"You gave away the cat?"

"We don't have a cat, Caroline."

"Oh yeah, it's a child we have instead of a cat. You didn't give away Flora, did you….?"

"Caroline, I'm being serious."

"I'm sorry. What's the matter? What is it, sweetheart?" Kate succeeded in getting Caroline's undivided attention.

"I called Walter Higgins."

"What? You didn't? Why the hell..? "

"Are you angry with me, Caroline?"

"No Kate, I'm over the moon." Who couldn't tell Caroline was seething?

"Then you are- angry with me."

"Why…why'd you…we were well rid of him, Kate. And all the troubles that came with him. Why would you ever call him in the first place?"

"I don't know. I guess…I...I think he's a lot like me, Caroline. They were a lot like us- only not so lucky. Walter would have done anything for your dad. In fact he did. He gave up his life to be with your dad. It wasn't just a casual affair that they had, Caroline. It was something incredible that you can be proud of. He truly loved your father…he loves him. Still. Forever- love of his life, he says. I believe him…I believe what they had was truly special. Not unlike what we have." Kate paused to think and then said: "If anything ever happened to you Caroline…I would be…well I'd be just like Walter- lost. Long for anything that was a part of you. I could never let go of you. Never!"

"We're married Kate. You are Mrs. Katherine McKenzie-Dawson- my wife. It's different. It's not the same."

"For them… your dad and Walter it was. It wasn't like they could get a divorce and run off and get married, Caroline. We both know how bloody impossible things were back then."

"Kate, she will find out, my mother. And then what? More arguments- more blaming- estrangement? She's just getting used to us – finally respects our marriage and now you want to throw my dad into the mix. She'll look at us and we'll remind her of Walter and my dad's affair and then it will all begin again. Only this time it won't be just you and me affected by her small-mindedness. It will be our Flora also." Jesus, Caroline thought, why couldn't Kate just let go- be content with status quo; why couldn't she understand that this whole Walter situation was one big tightly wrapped ball of confusion, pure and simple.

Celia, though the obvious problem and the one which Caroline had voiced the loudest concern over, was by no means Caroline's only problem. What was her other problem? Caroline herself.

How could Caroline in one breath tell Kate how much she loved her; how proud she was to be her wife; how proud she was to be the mother of her child. How proud she was to let the whole world know the three of them were family. And then in the next breath, like a hypocrite, admit to Kate that the very thought of having to out her dad was quite simply tearing her apart. It made her feel like she was coming out of the closet all over again. History repeating itself. All the fears, all the apprehensions, the whole emotional struggle was exactly the same, except of course this time around it was all about her dad, not her.

How could Caroline tell Kate this? She couldn't. She wouldn't- not this; anything but this. She feared Kate would perceive her as being old-fashioned. Remind her it was 2016. Question if she possessed the right stuff to deal with the challenges of raising their daughter. Then where would that lead to? Sure they were married but…But she couldn't help think of that weekend of Kate's birthday: the two single rooms fiasco; the misgivings about the baby plan and then the heartbreak of being dumped.

On that weekend just as now they had loved each other so very deeply. Just as now she had made a commitment to spend the rest of her life with Kate. Yet, it all came tumbling down around her when she displayed her feelings of insecurity. No, she can't- won't tell Kate of her struggles. This is her problem and hers alone to solve.

God, how she'd give anything to turn back the hands of time to the days when she and Kate were only challenged by the humdrum of everyday life. And Walter Higgins, her dad, her mother, their whole bloody affair was an ancient memory, locked away. Never to be spoken of. Kicked into the long grass. Where it belonged.

There had been a lull in the conversation before Kate spoke again in a convincing and earnest way. "I think Walter really cares about you Caroline."

"I don't give a damn who he cares about. You can't contact him again, Kate. You've got to end this quixotic crusade that you're hell-bent on continuing. It can only end badly for all of us. "

"Your mother knew about Walter and your dad and yet she stayed with your dad- even after you left home. Maybe they had some kind of understanding."

"Kate, please."

"It was a long time ago, Caroline- half a bloody century. People do move on. Maybe Celia's gotten over it by now…she's happy, really happy…she has Alan and all his family…Walter has no one, Caroline. He needs you- he needs us."

Whether it was naivety or wisdom, Kate stood her ground. She'd thrown everything imaginable into her argument to sway Caroline to her way of thinking. She'd even overlooked that she was making Caroline more upset by the minute. And as for Caroline, she was learning just how stubborn her wife could really be; which didn't sit well at all, given all the issues, all the insecurities that were wreaking havoc inside Caroline's head.

"He's not our problem, Kate. But my mother she is. No matter what she's like she's still my mother. Walter Higgins is…umm…he…he is…he's… oh, I don't know what the hell he is!" More than a bit frustrated but not wanting to quarrel again, Caroline pulled away from Kate; uncoupling their bodies and disengaging from any further conversation. The least said the soonest mended.

 **Part Two**

"You're still angry with me. Aren't you?" Kate spoke into the phone in a soft unsteady voice. It was the morning after she had made known her contact with Walter. Knowing fully it usually took time for Caroline to process things, Kate was unsure if it was too soon to discuss what had happened the previous night.

"What makes you think that?" Caroline was tapping her pen on the desk whilst listening, whilst thinking the situation over.

"Last night…this morning." There was sadness that carried through Kate's voice. It softened Caroline's mood; it would never be by willful intent she'd ever hurt Kate.

I was tired last night…I just didn't feel like…" Caroline pushed aside the school report that she'd been working on before Kate's call and then continued speaking.

"Is it what…For the life of me, Kate I don't understand why you want to keep seeing him? Why it's so bloody important to you. You do understand that Walter doesn't just want to be friends Kate- he's looking for us to be his family. For me…for us to accept him as my dad's… husband….me as his daughter. If we were to accept him as my dad's husband and we told my mother this…you must realize how badly this could turn out…for us….for Flora. Are you really willing to risk losing what we've gained… for…for a man you hardly know, Kate?"

"He's not a bad man Caroline. And he was the man your father loved- his lifelong partner- and to all intents and purposes Walter was your father's husband. And now he's very lonely with little time left. I can't help but like him, Caroline."

There was silence on the line for a few seconds. "Caroline?"

"Sorry…err…umm…sorry, yes what…what did you say?"

Caroline had heard what Kate had said. Her very comment was what made Caroline go silent. Reminded her that she too couldn't help but like Walter, despite the baggage he carried. And god knows he carried an awful lot of baggage.

"I said that he was not a bad man and that I…."

"Kate, right now is not a good time. I'm absolutely swamped and…and…umm…we can talk about it tonight. Is that alright? Okay? After we put Flora to bed…we'll talk then."

There was a long pause on the other end of the line and then Kate finally said: "Sure … I love you, Caroline. And I am sorry if I upset you last night. I didn't mean to. I just want to be…for us to be…kindhearted that's all."

"Yes, yes I know. We'll talk later." Caroline hoped she had softened her voice enough to make known to Kate she was no longer upset with her. As an afterthought she thinks she should have said "I love you too"; just to have made it crystal clear to Kate.

"Sorry Caroline…I didn't know it was Kate. It's just that …I'm afraid we have a situation on our hands with 9F."

Caroline looked up at Beverly as if to seek answers from her for all the nagging questions that were swirling about in her head. Her normal bright blue eyes were darkened by her thoughts. And Beverly with her keen sense of perception had detected something was wrong between her and Kate. So, Caroline sat staring at her PA; trying to decide if she should broach the matter with Beverly or not. In the end, Caroline decided to keep all troubles to herself. After all, wasn't everything best left unsaid? And wasn't that always Caroline's modus operandi?

"9F, you said? Good Lord, Beverly. What is it this time?" Caroline switched to work mode, quickly donning the hat of headmistress.

Throughout the work day Caroline's thoughts continually bounced from her workplace to her home life. Dredging up memories she thought she'd long buried away for keeps. Trying hard, but not succeeding to forget one of the last things Walter Higgins had said to her: " _It's no fun Caroline, being trapped in an unfulfilling marriage_ with _no viable options_. _I'd hoped you would have taken that into consideration when thinking about your dad and me"_

And then there was what Kate had said: " _They were a lot like us- only not so lucky. The only difference between them and us is the separation of time. The roll of the dice. To all intents and purposes Walter was your father's husband."_

With being distracted and not giving her work tasks their duly attention Caroline finally did something that she rarely ever did. Packed up for the day and left early.

When Caroline reached home Kate and Flora were not there. Instead of being greeted by beloved wife and child there was a handwritten note waiting for her. It stated because she was so busy at work Kate did not wish to disturb her again, hence the note to tell her that she and Flora were in Leeds. Probably would be late getting back- may not make it back before she got home.

Without Kate, without Flora the house felt empty and cold, without purpose. Just as her life would be if she did not have Kate and Flora. A thought flitted through her mind- maybe that's how Walter felt when her dad was no longer a part of his life. Caroline was lucky. She had Kate- her wife; lucky she had Flora- her child. Walter only had long ago memories of his chosen love- inanimate and grossly lacking.

Caroline turned about at the sound of the door opening. It was her Kate, her Flora. Flora, the child not biologically hers but the child she loved just as her own. How could she not? Flora was a part of the woman she loved with all her being. Suddenly, with the arrival of wife and daughter the house became a home filled with warmth, filled with purpose. Then and there, Caroline understood how Walter felt about her; she was Kenneth's daughter the man he loved beyond words. And her dad, he was the man who loved Walter Higgins. A point that Caroline could vacillate between the right and wrong of it, until the end of time, but their love for each other was an indisputable fact that would never change. Not for her; not for Celia; not for anyone. Kenneth and Walter to all intents and purposes had been spouses. No, not in any legal traditional sense of the word but in every other aspect that truly mattered. To Kate and now to Caroline.

Caroline blinked away tears; reached out for her Kate; reached out for her Flora and pushed aside all inhibiting thoughts that had in the past prevented her from taking sides.

To be continued


	5. Kate's Affair

A/N: As always my usual thank you and appreciation for reading my story and taking the time to send your reviews- much appreciated.

 **Chapter Five: Kate's Affair**

 **Part One**

"When do you think you'll tell your mother, Caroline?"

"I can't keep it from her for too long. You know her. She always seems to find out things, somehow."

"Yeah, she does have that knack. Doesn't she?"

"Yep."

"So does this mean you'll tell her soon? About Walter? About our decision to let him into our lives?"

"Hmm, first I'll have to borrow a pair of wellies. Think I'll need them to wade through the muck I'm about to create." Caroline said it in jest, to mask the apprehension growing within. But she didn't fool Kate.

"Don't suppose it'll be a cakewalk for you. But it will be alright, Caroline. Your mum loves you with all her heart. She would do anything in the world for you- despite how she acts and what she says sometimes. You and your mum have a very special bond. Rather unbreakable, I think." A slight reassuring grin turned into a quiet laugh.

"You two! Always seem to be butting heads about something. And not once has there been a time when the two of you didn't get right back together again. Thick as thieves. Loving each other- more than ever. Can't see how it'll be any different this time around."

All what Kate had said were words of encouragement as she sensed Caroline just might bottle out at the very last minute and not carry through with their plans. Something she was hoping not to happen but at the same time knew her Caroline all too well.

"I'll still need a pair of wellies."

"She really can be sweet, your mother."

Right. Like a sour lemon! Caroline muttered under her breath. Barely loud enough for Kate to hear.

I heard that. I for one think she's mellowing…with age. Kate was attempting to be serious whilst Caroline was being playfully cheeky about her mother.

"We are talking here about Celia, my mother, are we not?" Caroline's cheeky grin matched her wisecracking. And it was this relaxed attitude which prompted Kate to return the conversation back to Walter.

"Walter says he's sorry he came between us. It's the last thing that he ever intended to do...add challenges to our marriage. Told me to kiss and make up- hold on tight to you. I was to tell you tonight that I would never see him again, if that's what you really wanted. That's the kind of man he is Caroline."

"You weren't in Leeds were you?"

"No." Kate looked away from Caroline, feeling guilty that she hadn't been truthful. "What made you change your mind, Caroline, about letting Walter into our lives?"

"You mean apart from your relentlessness?" Caroline gave Kate a look that expressed she would have appreciated a little less of Kate's stubborn spirit.

Not now, but someday when Caroline would be ready to hear it Kate would tell her why she was so relentless, so determined to get Caroline to accept Walter. Walter had told Kate of the time he was to be married and start the family he'd always dreamed of having. Despite that he and his future bride had come to an "arrangement" about his sexual preference he never went through with it. When Kate asked why? He replied: "I gave up the notion- couldn't see myself belonging to anyone but my Kenneth. And I do believe he was as relieved as I was about my decision. Some people want their cake and eat it too. I'm not one to do that. Though I must say I did cry a wee bit at the lost opportunity to have children. That's when Kenneth took me in his arms and said: We'll always have our Caroline."

Kate thoughts of Walter gave way to the current conversation. "Sorry, I suppose I was a bit... But there must have been more than my…. "Charm" that convinced you?" The language teacher decided a word swap was in order. Charm was a much better description than relentlessness.

"I don't know exactly…I suppose a lot of things…You, me, Flora- the three of them. Things Walter said. Things you said- about dad and Walter. My mother was always in love with Allan and my dad, well…he…he never could have loved her that way…the way he was expected. The way he loved Walter. You were right in saying dad and Walter, in their own way, were….spouses."

"My mother and dad, they hung on for all the wrong reasons, Kate. They never loved each other. God knows their marriage was over and done well before Walter came on the scene. To blame him for the failure of their marriage- it's just stupid. Isn't it? He's not to be blamed for anything, really. Is he? The hatred my mother had toward him was manifestly unjust. Walter is every bit the victim as my mother. I suppose we all are…I mean…. they…they were all victims of circumstances one way or the other. Weren't they?" Her questions had all been rhetorical. And her slip of the tongue in saying "we" and quickly changing to "they" was empathetically ignored by Kate.

"Whenever mum and dad argued it always had to be friend or foe- no middle ground. My mother always expected me to take her side. No matter who was right or who was wrong. Whenever I didn't all hell would break out. So…so it was easier to…you know…to let her have her way. Not speak up for my dad. Not say how I really felt." Caroline paused then followed it with a "humph" and a shake of her head. With every word of truth spoken came a sliver of pain that struck at Caroline's heart.

A wisp of hair hung out of place on Caroline's face which somehow exposed her fragility. Kate reached and gently sought to put the delicate lock of hair in proper place. She smiled caringly as she did so. There was no need for Caroline to speak of the struggle she was having with regard to her father. Kate was intuitive enough to know. That was the thing about our Kate she always knew what were Caroline's unspoken words.

"If you want we can talk about it later." Kate's words were spoken in the sincerest of manner. But then true to form, our Caroline did as her Kate had anticipated. She backpedaled.

"No, No. It's fine. It's just that…umm…err…it's okay for you to continue to see Walter now…but I wouldn't feel right seeing him before I told my mother that I was…you know…so…if that's okay with you…." Caroline's thoughts got the best of her; the past crashed into the present. She was her teenaged self again, balancing her love between a cheating father (foe) and a demanding mother (friend). When faced with "all hell breaking out" just as then, she became reluctant to take the side of her dad. So, for now she opted for fence sitting.

"Sure. Whatever you're comfortable with- it's fine by me." The last thing Kate wanted to do was push Caroline further. What was the point? It wasn't as if Caroline would be discussing Walter with her mother anytime soon- now was it?

"I've seen your mum with Flora she truly does love her. Nothing will change that Caroline. If that's what you're thinking." It was an attempt to allay Caroline's fears and doubts- the very culprits that changed Caroline's mind, so all of a sudden.

"Does she now?" Caroline's response was hardly a show of affirmation.

"I feel like a hot bath. How about you?" An invitation from Kate to soothe the wounds.

"You go up. I'll be along in a minute."

"Caroline, Walter and I talked about it. Our marriage…it's the most important thing to me. If this Walter business is going to be the cause of us bickering, or makes you unhappy…I …the point is…if you don't want me to see him again. Just say so. I will do as you wish. I promise you this time I won't ever see him again."

"Why would you want to do that?"

 **Part Two**

After that night, Kate began seeing Walter on a regular basis. Sometimes she would take Flora, sometimes not. But Caroline never participated in the visits. Nor had she told Celia about Walter, yet.

"Maybe next time," Caroline would say. Of course next time never came. Kate never pressured her. But when Kate did come home she would regale her with stories of what happened during the visits. Let her know about Walter's health- whether he was feeling poorly or right as rain. She'd excitedly detail Walter's reaction at the first sight of Flora. How thrilled and delighted he was to have her there. And then Kate would predictably end her storytelling with how Walter, no matter the kind of day he was having, always found a warm smile when he spoke Caroline's name.

Caroline would always remain guarded with her responses. Still hiding the truth from Kate that she was struggling with having to out her father to the world, sooner or later. And of course there was always her mother foremost on her mind- unpredictable and mean-spirited. A fact both she and Kate knew all too well about Celia. So, for Caroline fence sitting seemed the best option.

Yet, the whole ironic thing about it all was that Kate and Celia were growing chummier by the minute. Despite Kate's new best friend was Walter Higgins. Day in day out- everything was just tickety-boo. Well, tickety-boo until the day Celia's curiosity got the better of her.

"Where are Kate and Flora?" Celia asked almost before she got through the door.

"Out and about." That was the best she was getting out of Caroline; that was except a reminder of proper manners. "What no hello, Caroline?"

"You mean to tell me you don't know where they're at?" Celia was acting as if she was shocked at Caroline's ignorance as to where her wife and child were.

"Don't be so bloody silly of course I do. Where's Alan?" Caroline was attempting to re-direct the conversation.

"Never you mind about Allan. It's not my Allan we have to worry about. It's your Kate. She's been acting rather strange, lately." Said in an all knowing way.

"Is she? How so?" Caroline's reply was that of unconcern.

"You see, I thought she was enjoying my company. She and Flora used to pop round all the time. But lately she seems to have so many things to do and places to go. Well, the point is Caroline…I really don't know how to say this to you, love. I know you're fond of her…well I've grown fond of her too but…"

"But what, mother?" Caroline tutted. "Just bloody well say it, please."

"I know it's none of my business, Caroline. But people live to gossip- love. So, I suppose it's better coming from me than anyone else. Lord knows I had enough practice with your dad and all his shenanigans to know when someone is not being truthful. When they're up to no good. I'm afraid Kate is hiding something from you. From all of us. She gets very evasive when I ask her where she's been. What's she's been up to. Doesn't look me in the eye. If that's not proof enough I don't know what else is, love."

"Maybe it's just your imagination, mother." Someway, somehow Caroline had to find an exit out of this conversation.

"Caroline, it's not my bloody imagination. I'm old but I'm nobody's fool, now am I? Maybe one day I'll follow her. She does have my granddaughter with her, you know. I hope to God she's not doing anything in front of the child…." At this point in the conversation, Celia was pretty wound up. And it wasn't helping that Caroline seemed in no way concerned about anything she was saying.

"Mother, Kate has a right to have a life of her own. We're not joined at the hip. And as far as you following her, well I'd be very upset if you did something like that. I hope you haven't! Have you?" Oh bloody hell say no, Caroline thought, as she braced herself for her mother's answer.

"No, I thought I'd tell you first so that you'd deal with it."

"Mother, there's nothing to deal with."

"Caroline, I do love you, so you must know I'd be just as devastated as you…if anything like that was happening right under your nose. She'd be no better than that nitwit John you got rid of."

"I don't know where you get such weird ideas, mum. And Kate's nothing like John. She'd never in a million years even think about having an affair…so…look… can we just drop the subject. Okay?"

"As long as you find out what she's up to. Because if you don't I will. We've got Flora to think about."

 **Part Three**

Kate, fresh from her hot bath, smelled as sweet as a bouquet of flowers. She nudged her deliciously nude body into Caroline's pajama clothed body. But before the act of sexual persuasion could begin Caroline offered up a nasty bit of news.

"My mother thinks you're having an affair."

"Your mother thinks I'm having an affair?!" Kate repeated believing she'd not heard correctly.

"Yep."

"I can't believe that. What on earth would make her think something like that?" Kate was totally taken aback.

"You."

"Me!"

"She thinks you've been putting her off lately…making up all kinds of excuses why you can't spend time with her. She's pretty certain that you're not telling her the truth about where you're going and what you're up to. So she's cooked up in her little suspicious mind you're having an affair. Your lover, is she pretty? I never asked you."

"Caroline, this is not at all funny, and you know that."

"She's thinking about following you."

"Caroline! Does your mother think everyone cheats on their spouse? Oh, I do hope you told her the truth after that."

"Well no, I didn't tell her the exact truth. I didn't…umm…err well, I didn't think it was the right time to…so…..I…I…told her to drop the subject."

"So you let her go on believing that I'm having an affair! Caroline, how could you?"

"She knows you're not having an affair, Kate. She's just being Celia. And as long as I know you're not having an affair what does it matter, anyway?"

The face that Kate made was the only response that Caroline was ever going to get to her question. Annoyed as hell, Kate rolled her honey tone nude body out of bed and headed off to put on the world's most "oh so not your sexiest" pair of pajamas.

Blasting away in Kate's head: "Just sod it with trying to be sexy for Caroline. And to bloody hell with sex, as well."

When Kate returned to bed it was with her back facing Caroline. Caroline immediately rolled over to form the two of them into a spooning position. Caroline's way to make nice.

"I bought you a gift today, Caroline."

"You bought me gift? Sweetheart. What is it?"

"It was to be a surprise for you. When you told… It's a blue pair of wellies."

"Sweetheart, that's nice but why would you buy me a pair of wel..lies…" The penny dropped! "Oh I see."

"We both know, Caroline, you're not ever going to tell Celia about Walter. So…"

"Kate. It's… umm a bit more complicated than I…umm…the point is…"

"It's okay, Caroline. I understand. Everything. Even the part you haven't told me. I'll take the wellies back in the morning. Goodnight."

To be continued


	6. The Visit

A/N: My usual thank you and appreciation for reading and sending your reviews.

 **Chapter 6:** **The Visit**

 **Part One**

After Caroline's revelation of Kate's supposed affair it was apparent Caroline telling her mother about Walter seemed pie in the sky dreaming. And as far as Kate staying cross with Caroline it was pointless. Kate loved Caroline just the way she was- imperfections and all; something that was not about to change. Whatever Caroline did or in this case didn't do mattered little in the big picture. The couple's differences could come and go at rapid pace but their love for one another would always remain a constant.

So, since Kate had no intention of leaving Walter alone, without family to comfort him, during these trying days, damage control or rather containment of Celia's overactive imagination took precedence over all else for Kate.

In an effort to quell Celia's very busy little imagination, Kate settled into a routine that saw her limit her visits with Walter, only visiting when Celia was off to Halifax or otherwise occupied. The otherwise occupied was Caroline's job to which she was only too please to help out- call it her penance served.

Kate also ensured that she popped round to spend time with Celia every day, even if only for a few minutes. This new visit routine seemed to not only quiet Celia but please her too. There were no more conversations with Caroline about Kate's supposed infidelity or any other unkind gossip. All was brilliant on the home front, now. Celia got to spend virtually all the time her little heart desired with her youngest grandchild. "Babies they are always welcome." So, Celia would say as she contently played with her Flora.

Days and weeks passed largely without incident. Walter was hanging in quite nicely- a minor issue here and there but on the whole things were going good for him. His birthday was nearing, coincidently the same time Kate's mother was due for her summer visit. Ginika and Walter were about the same age and both were politically liberal-minded. All of which had Kate looking forward to having her mum meet Walter and certain that they'd get along just smashingly.

The only point of concern was Walter's health- fingers crossed all would be fine. Kate hadn't had a face to face visit with Walter for a few days due to the requirement to "baby-sit" Celia. Her hope was that their text messages and phone calls were reliable tools to gauge his health.

"Kate's not back yet, love? She's not been in an accident or any thing like that. Has she?" Celia had popped in to get the latest on Ginika's arrival.

"No, no, she's just rung me. Apparently, Ginika's flight has been delayed. Kate doesn't yet know how long the delay will be."

"Now you see why I hate flying. Why it's one big pain in the you know where. Deep vein thrombosis that's your reward for flying."

"I seem to remember the time dad and you…"

"Don't go there…why spoil the day talking about your dad. You never liked him, anyway."

"Don't say that! You know that's no so. What would make you say a thing like that?"

"Well it was always you and me against him, Caroline."

"Clearly, mum that was wrong…very wrong. I'm sorry if I did that."

"You don't have to be sorry, love. He was the tosser that should've been sorry. The two of us having to put up with his shenanigans. His cheating with all and sundry."

"If he was that bad mother, why didn't you just leave him?"

"It wasn't like today. People just didn't up and leave their marriage, Caroline."

"Who are you kidding mum, if Alan would have been free you'd left my dad in a heartbeat."

"Well he wasn't and I didn't. Your father was nothing but a ….He wasn't a role model, your dad. If that's what you're thinking."

"My father was a good and decent man who was trapped in a loveless marriage he didn't want to be in. I'm sure you know that." Strong words for a fence sitter?

"You think it was a picnic for me…with all his tarts."

"Oh, mother, give it up. You know as well as I do he didn't have any tarts. He had one love for well over twenty some years. End of story."

"Well aren't we just the Miss know it all. What else do you think you know about your dad? I hope you appreciate that it was me who always took an interest in you. Not him. He was ineffectual as a man, your dad."

"Right. You would have me believe my dad was uninterested in me; wouldn't you? Given he really was "ineffectual" as a man." Caroline finger quoted "ineffectual". Both she and Celia knew what the code word meant. The expression on Celia's face spoke for itself. And the expression on Caroline's face was that she'd finally come to terms with outing her dad- for better or for worse, for wherever it lead her.

"Look mum, I should have told you this a long time ago." Unplanned and impulsive Caroline made up her mind that this was going to be the time and place- right there in her kitchen- she would tell her mother about Walter. It was so very bizarre- this chosen moment. How dissimilar it was to the recurrent scenario that had played in her head, a thousand times and more.

"Well, what exactly is this you've been meaning to tell me for so long?" Celia was trivializing what was yet to be said.

"He's called Walter Higgins. He… he was my dad's… a friend of my dad's. Do you remember him, mother?

"Why the hell would I remember a friend of your dad's? Aren't they all long dead and buried? And what's this friend got to do with you?" Her harsh words were in sync with the shocked expression on her face.

"It's just that he's…well he's sick mum and he reached out to me…to Kate and…because he meant so much to my dad. They were…I think you know, mother what they were to each other. The point is Kate and I…we've become friends with him- Walter Higgins and…so…I thought you should know…he's a friend of…umm…err…of ours. We both like him…very much…want him in our lives." Caroline prepared herself for the proverbial to hit the fan and start flying.

"So, why would I give a monkey's if this friend of yours knew Kenneth? It's no concern of mine- this bloody rich friend of yours." In Celia's haste to remain knee-deep in denial she slipped up. Caroline had not made mention of Walter being rich.

"I'm going to see him today, mum. It's his birthday. And with Kate stuck at the airport and all…I should…I really want to be with him on his birthday. Kate…we've got a birthday present for him and since today is his…"

"In the end it was me who took care of your dad- more than what he would have done for me. If he'd had his way he would have run off with that deviant. Can't imagine what folk would have thought- would have said if he had. Pointed and laughed I suppose. It was my job to see to it that that never happened. Not for my sake so much but for your sake."

"He was an embarrassment in the end- couldn't take him to any place nice. He'd dribble. But I put up with it - turned a blind eye. Like I always did. I bloody hell lived with it. 'Cause then that was my lot in life- your dad and his shenanigans. And I made the best of it. More than some folk would have done." Was Celia thinking aloud? Was Celia complaining or patting herself on the back? A cathartic moment? Caroline had no idea but at least it wasn't a shouting match.

"Look mum…I…I want you to know…I do want Walter in my life." Caroline words left no doubt of her intentions.

"Why would I bother getting worked up over this Walter Higgins- Kenneth is gone There'll be no tongues wagging, feeling sorry for me-not now- I have Allan- he's a right proper gentleman, my Alan. And I'm the happiest I've been in my entire life. It was Alan. He was always the one for me not Kenneth." Celia sounded almost upbeat- her face awash with relieve, at this point.

"You knowing this man is neither here nor there to me. So, as I said why would I give a tinker's cuss if this friend of yours knew Kenneth?" Celia's tone of voice was lighter, less harsh, now.

"Mum, Walter is very sick…he doesn't have much time left. And he…"

"Well then you best get that gift to him before he drops dead on you. You wouldn't want that would you?" Celia was as sharp tongued as ever; but Caroline thought she heard a smidgen of empathy that seeped through her words.

"My relationship with Walter, it was never…it's not meant to hurt you, mum. You do know that?"

"You best be off, Caroline. If you want to be back before Kate and her mother get here."

"Mum?"

"Go…ring me when you get back. I'll keep an eye out for Kate and her mother, while you're gone. That way you can have a nice long visit with your friend. Alan and I will pop back round later when Ginika gets settled in."

Whether it was naivety or wisdom, her Kate had been right all along. And all Caroline's wallowing in dark memories of the past; worries and fears about protecting Kate and Flora from a perceived fallout had been all for naught. In Celia's own peculiar way she had indeed moved on. And why wouldn't she? She had a gracious and caring daughter-n-law who she'd come to love and a grandchild who she just cherished and adored. And lest we forget- most importantly- after waiting damn near half a bloody century- Celia had finally snagged her Alan Buttershaw. So to hell with the past- the pain and ugly memories!

"I love you mum."

"I know you do, love." Celia let go a reassuring smile.

A relieved Caroline walked into her mother's arms for a much needed motherly hug and kiss. At this moment in time Caroline loved her mother more than she could ever remember. Mother and daughter were as thick as thieves.

 **Part Two**

"When the days are sunny like this you can find him most days here in the sunroom. Walter seems you have a visitor." The young handsome man said before making himself scarce.

"So I do." Walter did not get up from his chair. It had not been a particularly good day for him, health wise.

"Is he the "right motivator" you've been searching for to right your wrongs?" Caroline was being flippant with her reference to the young man.

"Oh my very dear Caroline, you really don't know me do you? He's my nurse. Honourable men don't muck about with the help. Now do they? Honourable men always remain faithful to the one they love." He took her inappropriate remark in stride- gave back in kind. It was hardly new- inappropriate remarks being fielded his way.

"Right." Caroline admired his clever reply that let be known his lifelong commitment to her father.

"Excuse me for not getting up. It's been…you might say a rather trying day. I'll feel better soon- once the meds kicks in. Please do sit down." Caroline remained standing. Her intent for this first visit was to get in and out. More or less break the ice.

"Look, Kate's tied up. Her mother's flight's been delayed…will be for sometime…so… so since she's not umm…I rung her told her I'd make sure you got your gift exactly on your birthday. She's sorry she couldn't get it to you herself but…Here. Happy Birthday, Walter."

"Well at least sit down while I open it. It's rather impolite don't you think, to dash off so quickly on a fellow's birthday. It could be my last one." Caroline took a seat, obediently.

He examined the gift before he said, "Thank you, tell Kate. I've grown quite fond of her and Flora over the last while. You're lucky Caroline. She's not just a beautiful woman she's kind and caring…." He stopped talking at the sight of the gift.

"Aah it's brilliant." He said of the gift. It was a framed picture of Caroline, Kate and Flora. "I'll put it with the others."

Caroline glanced over at him as if to ask "the others?" He responded to the obvious query.

"If you're wondering, yes, I do have a collection of photographs that your father gave me over the years…of you…of your boys. This is perfect, as now I'll have pictures of your new family."

"Seems you've been lurking about in the shadows for quite some time. Haven't you?" It was meant to be lighthearted, but wasn't taken as such.

"Yes, yes I have been lurking about in the shadows, as you so well put it." He disliked what Caroline said and set about to show just how significant his presence had been in her life.

"So it may not surprise you that I was there with your father on the day you got your doctorate. The day your mother didn't…couldn't…"

'You're him?" His words spurred her memory. Pieces began to fall into place. She slowly closed her eyes and heard perfectly her and her dad's conversation that day.

" _Dad, who was the man you were with?"_

" _No one really. Just a friendly chap. That's all_."

"He told me that…" Caroline was about to relay the conversation that took place but Walter cut her off before she had a chance to finish.

"I know what he said. What he did. He denied my existence- our relationship as… if I were nothing. Like he always had to do. But those were the times in which we lived, my Kenneth and I. Weren't they?"

"I would have understood…about your relationship." Her spoken words were as loud as a whisper- but carried the heavy weight of contrition. It was a confession she had always wanted to make to her father. Walter understood and was intelligent enough to know her words were not meant for him.

"When it's sunny outside Kate and I stroll the gardens. Are you interested? I fancy a breath of fresh air."

They both stood and made their way to Walter's beautiful English garden. It was a slow saunter along the garden path. Cloaked in silence, except for birds chirping overhead and the crunching sound of the stone beneath their feet. The pair was lost in thought; musing about the past, present and future. Finally, Caroline broke the long silence.

"Look, I've been thinking. I'm not …well the point is that I'm not…really your daughter, am I? I missed that opportunity for all the wrong reasons and I wish that I hadn't. But…well… we could be friends, very good friends, Walter. I'd like to get to know you better is the point."

"I would like that very much as well, Caroline."

"I want my family to know who you are. What you meant to dad. Our Flora…you'd be a wonderful granddad to her. My dad… he probably would like that considering you were… his lifelong partner- his spouse. "

"You are like him in many ways, you know."

"Am I Walter? I'm sure that's a compliment but I prefer to think I'm… like myself."

"That's just fine by me, my dear Caroline." They stopped walking, turned to each other and exchanged broad warm smiles. Caroline linked her arm around Walter's. Arm in arm Walter and Caroline continued their walk. They were experiencing a spirit of warmth, a natural comfort in each other's company.

"Caroline, I think the forecast calls for there to be brighter days ahead." Walter enthused; then flashed his best smile of the day at Caroline.

Oh, how so very much did Caroline remind Walter of her father. It was as if she was Kenneth strolling with him through the lovely garden. He felt his Kenneth there with him - in body, in spirit. But unlike before, now he and Kenneth were walking in the bright light of day. Arm and arm. For the whole world to see.

And then Kenneth spoke to him: "See, I told you, we'd always have our Caroline."

"Yes, yes you did, Kenneth." Walter replied aloud. It's the meds, Caroline thought.

When Walter turned to face Caroline he was weeping. She pulled him into a father daughter embrace and kissed away his tears, ever so compassionately, ever so lovingly.

When Caroline returned home and opened the front door she could hear laughter, loud and sweet to her ears, coming from the kitchen. Then she heard Celia say in a bright voice "I think that's your mother, Flora. Oh, look at her go."

"Careful not to fall, love." Celia laughed, unreservedly. It was the kind of laugh given by a proud grandmother.

"She's a cute one, our little Flora." Caroline heard Alan say in an effervescent manner.

"Better catch up with her, dear." Ginika gently instructed Kate.

Flora ran to Caroline, shouting in her tiny voice every step of the way, "mum-mum, mum-mum."

When Flora reached her destination winded and overjoyed to see her mum-mum she wrapped her little arms around her mother's leg. Kate looked at the pair of them- her smile was almost a giggle. Caroline picked up Flora and then held out her free arm for Kate to enter into it. In a matter of seconds Kate found herself wrapped lovingly in Caroline's arm.

Having her family in her arms made Caroline feel grateful. Lucky even. It was 2016, not yet perfect for the 2.7% but a far distance away from her father and Walter's space in time. Two teardrops trickled down Caroline's face. Kate kissed away one and Flora kissed away the other, ever so gently, ever so lovingly.

The End

End note: Thank you for reading my story and helping me preserve the memory of one truly amazing couple-our C&K!


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